Meat Sandwich: A Group Of Turkeys Tried to Murder Me on the Taconic
Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year when family and friends come together to celebrate one another and eat a whole lot of food. There's only one problem: the centerpiece food at Thanksgiving is the turkey, and turkeys are maniacal kill-beasts who are out to get you and everyone you know.
You don't believe me? Let me tell you something - I've seen it. I have seen the murderous glint in a turkey's eye as he readies himself for a fresh kill. Here's what happened: a few years back, when I was still in college, a friend and I were driving back from Albany. We were taking the Taconic and it was an unusually quiet day, very few cars on the road. My friend is driving and suddenly, he begins to stop short. Because there is a row of no less than 15 turkeys just standing in the middle of the road, staring at us.
You heard right. 15 turkeys, in the middle of the Taconic, blocking our path forward, looking directly at us. I would have taken a picture if not for the paralyzing fear that naturally comes with turkeys staring daggers at you. And then, as we slowly try to pass the turkeys, not wanting to run them over - they start chasing us.
Have you ever been chased down a highway by a pack of turkeys? I don't recommend it! I figured, this is how it all ends. Death by turkeys. My friend hit the gas and we got away, but it was a close one. And ever since, whenever I eat turkey on Thanksgiving, I think to myself, "Good riddance."
So in conclusion, be careful around turkeys. They are not messing around, and they are terrifying.