Hudson Valley to NY Health Department: F**K Off
It's been a week since Thanksgiving, and the New York State Health Department (NYSDOH) is trying to ruin our fun. Good luck, f**kers.
The Health Department is a Wet Blanket
"The clock has run out on Thanksgiving leftovers", began a post from the NYSDOH on Monday. "Eating any turkey today that was cooked on Thanksgiving may lead to foodborne illness. Time to toss those leftovers in the trash." Excuse me? Three days for leftovers? You must be mistaken.
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
I've been happily packing Thanksgiving food for lunch every day this week. My body, my choice, NYSDOH, and I'm not going to stop pounding stuffing and mashed potatoes until they're all gone. Thanks to some local leftover heroes in the Hudson Valley, I know I'm not alone.
The Hudson Valley Responds
The NYSDOH may think they know best, but Hudson Valley residents have been chomping all week long. While I was eating bourbon sweet potatoes with pecans, other Tupperware kings and queens were joining me.
"We are, just finished the pie", said an Orange County, NY woman. "I turned my turkey into Shepard's pie", said another. Laughing in the face of potential food danger, these Hudson Valley daredevils are the kind of food connoisseurs we need.
To Eat or Not to Eat
Listen, we all have a nose. The leftover elite know to take a nice big inhale when you crack the container. Smells like food? Pop it in the microwave and go to town! It's a scientific fact that too much food is made on Thanksgiving, and we need to do our part to make sure it doesn't go to waste.
Sorry, Lawyers Ruin Everything
My boss told me that legally I can't actually tell you to ignore the NYSDOH. Apparently food-borne illness can be a serious health risk. What I will say is that I've been eating Thanksgiving leftovers well past Monday and I'm not dead yet.