My Wife Forced Me To Dress Like a Bowl of Nachos Last Night
Look, this pandemic has been hard on everyone. But last night, I may have sunk to a sad, new low.
Everyone likes to talk about the "new normal," but there's nothing normal about what's been happening at our house. Since the spring, Ive been doing our best to adapt to a new way of life. From embracing the jigsaw puzzle to making my own homemade pickles, I've been adjusting to a strange new reality.
But nothing prepared me for Thursday night.
With temperatures dipping down to freezing temperatures, my wife led me down to our basement and presented me with a silver piece of fabric to slip over my head. Looking at this curious device I wondered if this was the end. Did binging all of the episodes of the Heaven's Gate documentary finally get to her? I was convinced that my wife finally cracked and I was on my way to join the crew on the Hale-Bopp comet.
It turns out that I was not being indoctrinated into a strange cult. Instead, I was long overdue for a haircut. Since the pandemic, I have opted to have my wife cut my hair instead of sitting at a barbershop for an extended period of time. While many people have returned to getting their hair cut professionally, it's one of the activities I didn't' think was worth the risk. Not known for high-fashion and good looks, a quick trim at home has been more than good enough for me.
I didn't even think about the fact that my wife usually cuts my hair outside. Letting the hair fall into the grass was fine in the summer and fall, but now that we're forced inside during the winter I hadn't thought of a way to keep from hair getting all over the place.
Oh, but my wife did.
So there I sat in my basement with my head sticking out of what looks like a bowl of nachos getting a much-needed trim. As the hair fell into the weird umbrella wrapped around my neck I thought to myself, "so it's come to this?" I must admit, the spontaneous Amazon purchase my wife made actually worked. But honestly, this vaccine can't come soon enough.
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