Warning Posted at Poughkeepsie Mall Will Make Your Brain Melt
A rare trip to the mall has uncovered a totally bonkers warning sign hiding in plain sight.
I don't remember the last time I went strolling around the Poughkeepsie Galleria. No longer a teenager looking to meet up with friends at the food court, if I need something specific I'll usually just head into whatever store I'm looking for, complete my purchase and then leave.
This weekend I found myself leisurely walking around the mall and, I've got to say, it brought back some pretty great memories. While most of the stores I used to enjoy shopping at have long disappeared, the mall itself is still the best place in the Hudson Valley to people-watch.
"Craft Show on Acid" Replaces Old Clothing Store
I stumbled into a former high-end clothing store that's been transformed into what can only be described as an insane craft show on acid. Booths offer oddities like t-shirts featuring religious slogans such as "Turnt Up For Jesus". There's a section selling artwork made with human hair and another advertising a self-published mystery novel. A sign above the stack of books promises each of them is "signed, personalized, and you will love them". Incredible.
While I didn't buy anything, I was thoroughly amused by this wild showcase of goods. The eclectic items for sale were only overshadowed by the endless photos of shoplifters caught by the store's security cameras. There wasn't anything in this store that I could ever imagine wanting to take home, even for free. But it turns out there are dozens of thieves just dying to get their hands on some rare hair art.
Bonkers Warning Sign Made My Brain Melt at the Poughkeepsie Galleria
If the stores selling boner pills, fake Yeezys and skull-shaped vape pens weren't enough to blow my mind, a sign posted at the entrance to the mall made me fall into a wild time vortex that I have yet to recover from.
At each entrance to the mall is a large sign on a stand describing the Galleria's escort policy. The rule states that children under the age of 18 must be accompanied by an adult over the age of 21.
The policy is intended to keep kids from running wild around the mall on the weekends. The idea is that if an adult is with them between the hours of 4pm and closing on Friday and Saturday they won't get themselves in too much trouble.
While I have no problem with the policy, the wording itself made me do a double-take. Upon further investigation, the sign was not informing customers of an existing policy. Instead, it was warning them of an upcoming change to the policy that would happen on September 9 of the year 2005.
That's right, the warning is over 18 years old. This means that the sign itself is now old enough to shop at the mall without a parent or guardian.
And if you think this sign was just an oversight, you may be surprised to learn that it's not the only one. I saw several versions of this same dated warning at entrances both upstairs and downstairs at the mall, as well as at the entrance to the movie theater.
They always say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it", but it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that these signs have all been standing in the same place at the mall for almost two decades without ever being replaced.
While most of the stores I remember have all disappeared and replaced with new ones, it's kind of comforting to know that the same signs that were erected when George W. Bush was president are still greeting customers at the mall.
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Gallery Credit: Boris