Cops to Jimmy Buffett Fans: Cut the Crap!
Mansfield, Mass., police have issued a stern warning against anyone planning to construct D.I.Y. commodes, one year after workers at the Xfinity Center were forced to handle the rather disgusting job of cleaning up behind fans attending a Jimmy Buffett concert.
The department's Facebook post attempts to appeal to his tailgate party-loving "Parrothead" fan base with a touch of humor, assuring everyone planning to attend this Saturday's concert that "the folks at Live Nation New England have supplied the parking lots with an abundance of actual, health code-compliant toilets that aren't attached to the bumper of a pickup truck."
They also offer a helpful collection of photographs detailing the various plastic and cardboard contraptions which "will not be permitted (or tolerated)" at the event.
"We know ... no one likes to poo in a Porta-Loo," the post concludes. "But think of it as an experience to build character. Like showering at camp with a family of spiders."
Looking at the pictures of these homemade toilets raises a lot of questions. Granted, waiting in line for a hot, crowded and (as the day goes on) increasingly dirty portable toilet is far from the most awesome thing in the world. But is a refrigerator box, a spackle bucket and a pool noodle really that much of an improvement?
How exactly does one broach the "hey, we're gonna need somewhere to poop" conversation among a group of Parrotheads? Does that automatically make them the foreman for its construction? Do friends feel obligated to go along even if they might actually prefer to go behind closed doors?
And are blueprints available online?