I can never look my neighbors in the face again after finding out that everyone's been secretly laughing at my family for over ten years.

I like to think that I'm a pretty savvy person. I've never had my Facebook account hacked, I don't fall for telemarketing scams and there's never been a salesman that has even come close to talking me into buying the extended warranty. However, there's one thing that I've been doing for over a decade that I'm completely embarrassed to say I had no idea about.

While at a recent party I overheard some people talking about someone's front yard and laughing hysterically. As I got closer I heard them discussing the "perverts" who lived there. As I caught up on the conversation I was horrified to learn that they were actually describing my home.

I immediately thought this was some sort of elaborate joke, but after confronting the partygoers they insisted that they had no idea they were actually talking about me and the home that I've lived in for the past 24 years.

A. Boris
A. Boris

It turns out that the neighbors were disgusted by the two red Adirondack chairs that were sitting in the front yard. According to them, the chairs are a very well know sign that the people who lived there were into some kinky shenanigans.

After confirming with a quick Google search I began to feel dizzy. The two red chairs in front of my house are, indeed, a signal to other couples that swingers live here. We've always had two red chairs in front of our house. My wife and I enjoy sitting in the front yard watching our son ride his bike or play basketball. The chairs have been there for over 10 years and all that time we never knew that we were telling everyone that we were swingers.

The very next day I took a trip to the home improvement store and bought two blue chairs.

A. Boris
A. Boris

While I can't undo the past decade of advertising to the whole neighborhood that we're swingers, I also couldn't have those chairs out in front of the house knowing what they mean.

Have you ever heard about the red Adirondack chair signal before? If so, please don't tell me. I seriously don't want to find out just how many people knew about this the whole time.

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