Hey New York City folk, we know you're already planning to invade the Hudson Valley to check out our spectacular Fall foliage. Let us offer you some better options.

Don't get us wrong. We love the money you pour into our area every Fall. But, to be honest, you kind of make life difficult for us local residents.  Seriously, that giant SUV doesn't need to drive on both sides of the yellow line at the same time. And, quite frankly, your fancy ways just creep us out. I mean, who picks pumpkins while wearing designer high heels?

So while we'd love to stand behind you and your precious kids, Triangle and Bingo, while you berate the local farm market for not offering gluten-free cider donuts, we think you might actually enjoy these activities more than your miserable trip to the lame old Hudson Valley.

  1. Rolling your eyes at people on those double decker sight-seeing buses
  2. Ironic Bowling
  3. Screaming at people who look like they might want to sit on your door stoop
  4. Standing in line for Cronuts or some other overrated food fad
  5. Sitting in a cafe and staring blankly into a turned-off iPhone X
  6. Taking the subway for two stops and telling everyone how you're so down to earth.
  7. The Annual Greenwich Village Oragami and Artisanal Celery Festival
  8. Brunch
  9. Planning out that gourmet rice krispies treat store you want to open in Beacon
  10. Not inoculating your child because of that Facebook post your cousin's nanny shared
  11. Bringing your dog to a foreign film festival
  12. Pretending to enjoy walking on the Highline
  13. Instagraming your $21 latte
  14. Calling an Uber and Lyft at the same time and spitting on the last one that arrives
  15. Hunting down that rare IPA made with locally sourced Brooklyn beard hairs
  16. Working.
  17. Walking past Trump Tower and saying something that sounds kid of political but is actually a quote you heard on HGTV.
  18. Not making eye contact with other humans
  19. Saying you're going to the park for a jog but just day drinking in running shorts
  20. Telling random strangers every detail about your child's wheat allergy
  21. Leaf peeping... in New Jersey