With the Winter Olympics kicking off in Sochi this week, everyone will be glued to the opening ceremonies, which will be broadcast live on Friday night at 7:30 on NBC. If you're like me and didn't train for 20 years to compete, you'll just have to grab a beer and join in the only event we're qualified for: the Opening Ceremony Drinking Game!
Whenever Matt Lauer pretends to admire the ugly USA team's official uniforms: DRINK!
Each time Bob Costas says the word "Fisht": DRINK!
If any country drops their flag, SHOT OF VODKA!
If there is a performance of the Trololo song: DRINK!
If the Jamaican bobsled team is mentioned: DRINK!
If someone brings up the movie "Cool Runnings": DRINK AGAIN!
If they do it in a fake Jamaican accent, FINISH YOUR BEER!
Shot of Putin frowning: DRINK!
Description of the translucent polycarbonate roof of the Olympic stadium that gives the building an appearance of snowy peaks, ensuring it sits in harmony with the landscape of the Imeretinskaya Valley and the Caucasus Mountains: DRINK!
Yakov Smirnoff impression ("What A Country!"): DRINK!
Camera shot of the actual Yakov Smirnoff: FINISH YOUR DRINK!
If there are dancing Russian nesting dolls: DRINK!
If the Olympic flame is lit by an old Russian man spitting vodka into the torch: GO TO BED, YOU'RE DRUNK!
Feel free to add more rules of your own in the comments section below: