Olympic Opening Ceremonies Drinking Game: Rio 2016

So you didn’t train for 20 years to compete in the Olympics. That's alright, just grab a beer and join The Boris & Robyn Show for the only event we’re physically qualified to participate in: the Opening Ceremony Drinking Game!

Here's how to play:

Every time a country that you never heard of enters the stadium: drink

When you see a country's uniform that is actually uglier than team USA's: two drinks

If they mention the Zika virus: one drink

If they mention the feces in the swimming water: number two drink

If they mention Donald Trump when the Russian team is on screen: two drinks

If someone sings that Peter Allen song about Rio: take four drinks

When they release the doves: three drinks

If any of the doves fly directly into the Olympic torch: pour one out

When any inspirational commercial spotlighting an athlete airs: drink

If those rumors are true and Gisele Bundchen is really fake-mugged during a dramatic recreation of Brazil's crime problems: finish your drink and open another

When Michael Phelps enters the arena carrying the flag: drink

If they mention his DUI arrests: chug

If they mention his drug use: bong hit

If they mention the transgender woman who claims he met her on Tinder and wound up falling in love with her you're already drunk and should go to bed.