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Meat at the Movies: In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream

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The most exciting movie out this week is the new film in the Alien series, Alien: Covenant. I’m a big fan of the Alien movies, and Alien: Covenant sees the return of director Ridley Scott, who made the original Alien, as well as the previous movie in the series, Prometheus. Prometheus is a movie that sharply divided a lot of people – it’s a visually stunning, thematically rich movie that is severely flawed in how it deals with its characters and feels like an unfinished story. It seems Scott listened to the complaints people had about Prometheus for Covenant, but something interesting is happening – fans and critics seems sharply divided on this one again, but almost for the exact opposite reasons. It builds on some of the ideas of Prometheus while mostly just being a straight-up monster movie, and word is it’s intense, bleak, and incredibly violent. Michael Fassbender as the android is the only character returning from the previous film, but the cast, who will surely all die at the hands of the alien, also includes Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, and Danny McBride. I’m pretty psyched for this one, guys.

Then there’s a new movie called Everything, Everything based on a young adult novel, and it looks terrible. It’s about a teenage girl who has some kind of disease where she’ll die if she ever goes outside, but then she falls in love with the neighbor kid and starts to venture outside and blah blah blah blah blah it looks like some lame Nicholas Sparks for Kids. If you need your fill of melodramatic scenes of teenagers crying or dramatically spouting life lessons, then I guess this one’s for you.

Finally, the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie is out this weekend, the fourth in the series, called Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul. This one has an entirely different cast from the other three movies – I guess the kids maybe aged out of their roles. I’m guessing the studio figures most kids won’t notice they’re watching a different Wimpy Kid then they were before, and maybe they’re right. It’s got the same kind of humor, and if your kid likes the other movies in the series, they’ll probably like this. Not really worth seeing if you don’t have a kid to take to the theater, though.

Also, and I know this isn’t technically a movie, but Twin Peaks comes back this weekend after 25 years off the air with a two hour premiere on Showtime! David Lynch, one of the best filmmakers ever who hasn’t directed anything in over 10 years, is directing every single episode, and I’m pretty damn excited about it. You should watch it too!

So drop your kid off at Wimpy Kid and go see Alien: Covenant and definitely tune in for Twin Peaks. That’s my official advice this week. Until next time, we’ll Meat at the Movies.

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