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7 things you should NEVER to do on a plane

Airplane
Tom Shaw/Getty Images

This morning one of our listeners sent us an article with some rules for riding on airplanes. The list was ok, but we agreed it was just too short.  We opened the phones up to the WPDH listeners and took suggestions on what you believe are the do’s and don’ts of air travel. Here is what you came up with:

If you’re sitting on the aisle don’t ever fall asleep
It sucks that you have a crappy seat, but it sucks even more being trapped next to the window with no way of escape while you drool all over your neck pillow.  If you want to sleep your way to the next destination, book early and get a window seat.

Don’t talk to me
Most people agree that some polite conversation before takeoff is acceptable, but rattling on about your terrible relationship throughout the flight is just not cool.  You’re all nicer than me.  I suggest a simple smile and then keep to yourself.  I don’t want to make a friend, I just want to get to Orlando.

Don’t abuse the privilege of bringing a carry-on bag
One listener suggested that carry on bags be eliminated all together.  His argument was that it takes too much time to put them in and out of the overhead compartments, and most people take up too much space anyway.  His suggestion: everyone put their one bag under the seat.  Why not go even further and make everyone just wear all of the clothes they want to bring in layers?

That’s my arm rest
Don’t take the arm rest.  It’s mine.  Not yours.

Don’t ever recline your seat
Surprisingly, most people agreed with the original article that complained about the person in front of you reclining their seat.  Seeing how the seat only reclines a quarter inch anyway, I don’t mind… especially since I can just recline my seat too.

Lay off the cologne and perfume
B.O. is bad.  Axe body spray is also bad.  You may think that smelling like lilacs makes a good impression.  I’m petitioning Febreze to make bottles less than 3oz big so I can squirt you down and neutralize the stench.

While we’re at it, let’s create a kids only section
It’s probably not realistic, but it sure would be nice to send all of the crying babies and fidgety kids to a special plexiglass enclosed section of the plane.  Hell, let’s shove all of the loud talkers in there as well.  You know who you are, “guy who is talking way too loud about your mysterious herpes outbreak”.

Did we miss any?  Add your rules for air travel in the comments section below:

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