5 Things to Worry About Besides Ebola

With fear of Ebola spreading quicker than the virus itself, it's probably good to put things in perspective.  Here's a list of 5 other things to keep you up at night.  You're welcome.

1 - Our nuclear weapons are controlled by floppy disks
Check out this video from Last Week Tonight on HBO to see how little to no maintenance is being done on our stockpile of weapons that could easily blow up the entire world:

2 - Pinworms are everywhere
Do you know what pinworms are?  If you don't you better be prepared to be itchy after reading this.  Apparently, these thread like worms live in the intestines of over 40 million Americans.  That's 1 in 7 people.  Although virtually harmless, they make a journey every night through your large intestine and out your behind... laying eggs around your butt.  The scary part is that most people have no symptoms and no idea that these worms are living inside them.  The eggs are so small and light you can't see them with the naked eye... and they fly around infecting everyone.  Some people suffer from intense itching at night when the worms come out to play, but that's really the only sign of an infection.  You could have pinworms inside you right now and not even know it.  Itchy yet?

3 - You're probably due for a car accident
According to Forbes magazine, car insurance companies estimate that every driver will get in an accident once per 17.9 years. So if you got your license at 16 and you've made it to your mid 30's without a fender bender, chances are one is on the way very soon.  The good news?  Only 3 out of every 1,000 or so crashes are deadly.  So you've got that going for you.

4 -Your bed
Every year approximately 450 people die from simply falling out of their bed while sleeping.  Not much you can do about that unless you decide to sleep on the floor.

5 - Vending Machines
Next time you shake that snack machine to get an extra Twix out, you might want to keep in mind that around 13 people are crushed to death by vending machines each year.  It may not sound like a lot, but you have a much better chance at getting killed by a vending machine than Ebola.  Again, you're welcome.